Well, February 16 has come - it's time to attack Ukraine.
Instructions from Russian occupiers for residents of Ukraine:
1. It is better to prepare bread and salt in advance - baking takes time. But, in extreme cases, you can buy round bread and cut a hole for the salt shaker on top. Bread and salt is served on a towel, with a bow and an exclamation:
- Brothers, dear ones! Yes, we were waiting for you, how these bloody clowns tortured us!
2. The language of communication must be Russian, but a light pleasant Little Russian accent is not only acceptable, but also welcomed.
3. Remember that the norm for defectors is no more than one per military unit, the rest can only apply for the less honorable status of deserters. Don't miss your chance!
4. The rate of informers for a private house - one for the family, for a small apartment building - one for the entrance, for an apartment building - by order of the commandant.
5. For the 'Javelins' handed over to the Russian invaders, a bonus is awarded - a trip to a resort in the Crimea, for the 'Stinger' handed over - a trip to a resort on the Sea of Azov.
6. Yes, and finally take haloperidol - there is a high probability that the hallucinations will subside and the invasion will stop.
And if Russia still DOES NOT ATTACK Ukraine, then the next sanctions will be imposed against Russia - for unpredictable behavior.